Okay, so what I've been thinking is this.. This blog is named after me and has been proclaimed as my diary. It is just that. My life and my interests have completely shifted and I've decided to continue this blog regardless of a breach in theme. But that's the beauty of a diary. All of the prior contents have been moved, but they are still around. Play on Google Search ;)
Speaking a bit about my theme change, I have spent the past half year or so really digging deep into my own spirituality. As this blog may have shed a bit of light on to in the past, who knows, but I have always been an extremely spiritual person. Well, for about the past 6 months now I've basically devoted my every leisure minute to it, even some not so leisure moments, whoops. I've learned so much about what I find to be true, personally, that I'm going to work out my own concepts now on this blog. I find my life to be incredible, tapping into my personal truth has led me places I would have never thought possible before. I've come up with so many of my own theories about the way that things had happened in the past that it would be foolish for me not to record them. Not for any gain of course other than that conversation is knowledge, speaking them to understand them better myself, ya know, just working them out. This will be the first post to recording my own personal evolution.
So this is what I hold to be true..
We all have a purpose. Some people take road trips or back pack through Europe to 'find themselves', however, the verbiage is incorrect. You can not 'find' yourself, you are within yourself. What you must do is 'remember' yourself.
So we talk about purpose. Some people define it as luck. Meaning, you work hard all your life, and if you become incredibly successful then you've found your purpose, you succeeded. Now the mass definition of success is pretty fucking warped, but we all hold our own personal truths, if dolla dolla bills ya'all is your definition of success, then, that is your definition of success, and no judgement passed from my part.. as long as you truly believe that. However, this is where I beg to differ- when we are born into the world, we are not born with wads of cash in our hands. I mean that literally, not referring to trust fund babies. We are not physically born with a default cash amount.
Speaking aside of genetic mutation and/or disabilities we are all born with the same things. 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms, hands, a brain, a set of lungs, a beating heart. We are born equipped to live. Now, a few things are necessary to our survival. Air, food, water- all things naturally offered by the Earth, all obtainable free of charge. We also need a care giver for at least our first 5 years because that was the compromise we made in order to walk upright. But that's a whole other post. Check that out sometime if you aren't sure of what I'm talking about. For us to walk upright our hips had to narrow meaning the gestational period had to shorten due to the need for babies to be able to pass through the birth canal. This was because staying the womb for longer would allow for the skull to develop (no soft spot) and babies would crush their skull as well as dislocate or kill their mother, it all make sense, its all super fascinating.
Anyway, off topic, so for all of us to survive we need care, water, food and air. All free. Shelter yeah, but caves are around, the Earth made those. Temperatures, move to somewhere warm, Earth supplies that too. Can't afford to get there? Well I bet your mother wasn't in a cold place in the first place, cold enough to kill anyway, otherwise you wouldn't even be here, so that's not even an argument.
So fuck yeah, all of what I'm saying sounds super primitive, and duh Jess, we know we could survive like that, look at our ancestors. Just today we couldn't live like that. Well, not socially, right? Well that's a bunch of fucking bologna if you ask me. Because guess what, SAYS WHO? I "go bankrupt and have to live on the street, oh my god I'm going to die". HARDLY. You might not like it, but its certainly not going to kill you. Okay violence, good point, move somewhere that isn't so capitalized and I bet you don't die.
Okay, so next point, you stop caring so much about the latest trends, or how much money you have, and I mean this truly. Not that you start living ambivalent about it, but that you actually DON'T CARE about what the masses tell you about whats important in terms of our survival. Okay, so people look at you like some nudist colonist fucking hippy weirdo, well sweet, because that thought of you, doesn't kill you either. But that's another thing, that thought of you from the outside, does not make it fact, no matter how big the consensus is.. that thought lives only inside of the thinker, not you.
I got a bit off topic here. This post is about purpose. So lets really think about this for a minute. I just explained how everything you need to live is given to you at birth. You are given the organs to live, the Earth supplies basic needs, and as for care, your mother, scientifically, and yeah not all cases, but rare, isn't going to leave you in your first five years due to her producing Oxytocin. If you don't know what that is, look it up, but its basically the hormone that makes her want to feed and hold her baby. Women produce it when they cuddle, its the essence of family and love defined scientifically, super fascinating.
FUCK ANYWAY, what I'm getting at is, you are born with everything necessary to survival. That brings us to Self Purpose. You don't find this by luck or by chance. As a child you know, you know when you come right out of the womb. I've been thinking about this so much lately and it makes so much sense. Our entire species, as well as every other on the planet can be broken down scientifically, but we put so much weight on making "new" discoveries that we don't look around and see how its always been there, how OBVIOUSLY it really is.
Okay, so as a new born, you cry when you don't like how hungry you've gotten. You coo and smile when someone you love picks you up. All of this has variant degrees from child to child. Not every child has to be fed every 2 hours. Some don't get phased if you wait 3, or they don't get pissed until 4 hours. This is preference. Embedded in us.
So then we grow to be 2 years old. I prefer red, my brother prefers green. Before commercials are shoved down our throats about PICK RED YOU'LL BE SEXY. Before my brother goes to school and hears 'green is for girls na na boo boo'. Genuine personal preference and likes vs. dislikes. So let me go deeper and call it intuition. Its truly who you are. Who you are before you get clouded with outside preferences and develop insecurities. So makes sense right? Well isn't it around this time that children develop cognitive ability, abilities to problem solve and think logically? Also, aren't 'problems' generally defined by the masses? I mean yes, to a degree they are inevitable, and unmistakably undeniable if your focus lies with the social world.
Now before I go on, lets touch on intellect real quick. We think we are the rulers of the planet because we can think, right? Well, isn't thinking only a mere characteristic of our species? Just as fish breathe from gills, or that birds fly? All it is a mere trait that defines us as human. Also, our ruling reign on the planet is self proclaimed. Birds don't think that they live under us, either do dogs, they just like us, because who doesn't appreciate a hug? Or cower when we beat them because no one wants to get hit. But I don't see animals in masses building thrones for human beings, do you? You know whats interesting.. we put so much emphasis and weight on our ability to think, like all hail human beings, but it doesn't save us from shit. I'm not going to call it our self destruction, because just as wings on birds, they rely on those, and wings aren't creating their demise. But! Thinking is developed. It's not birth given, but EVERYTHING we need in order to survive is. Remember when that tsunami hit the east in 2004? How much destruction was there? TONS. It was 'devastating'. But ya know what, hardly any animals were effected because they moved to higher ground prior, because they didn't 'think', they followed intuition.
So lets go back to children. They can't think yet, I mean a little, but their thinking isn't developed. They like the color red because that is who they naturally are. What's leading them? Intuition. We are born with preferences. THAT IS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE. THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO DO. Think about this, I mean it. Really think about it.
Think about something you truly love to do. TRULY ENJOY. Something you do in your leisure. You know how when you really really like something you get this, almost, fire feeling in your core. Or when someone is speaking to you and they notice something about you that you feel maybe a lot of people don't see very often, and they compliment it? How you get warm and fuzzy? Fire-y inside? That is touching your intuition, touching your true self. Your purpose. So as children we grow and develop and we move away from strictly being intuitive to who we really are. I mean this, if you are reading this I really want you to think about it.
We start thinking. And we'll call it 'logic'. We start thinking logical. We think, "I would love to do this, but I don't have the money to do it, the money I bring in pays my mortgage I need that to support my family". Or "ya know, I really want to do this, but if I did, it would make people think a certain way about me, and in the end I really don't want to be seen that way so I'm not going to do it."
Well for starters thinking that way we are giving possible outcomes to our actions, which is very logical, yes. But they are possible outcomes, which means FUTURE, which means HASN'T HAPPENED YET, which means ITS MADE UP. YOU THOUGHT IT UP, ITS NOT REAL. Thinking can only be done through perspective, and perspective is completely relative which means NOT FACT. So to some it all up, that's the definition of Fiction for ya.
So, what we grow to do is start using our minds and not our intuition. Intuition, seen in its purest form in a child, we completely right off as adults. We even call it metaphysical bullshit. Yet it's clearly given to us at birth along with all of our other survival necessities. There are no survival necessities that you obtain at a later age, its all at birth. So to think logically is to find our way through the social world, that's it (e.g. mortgage priority). And if that's how one person choices to live their life, then that is completely their choice.
Question is, how many people find peace? Happiness? They search and search their entire lives, looking for things outside of whats given to them naturally. I've said it before, but in reference to Nature vs. Nurture, nurture only changes what was given to us naturally. But as its been said 20 times in this post, everything you NEED, is given to you naturally.
And then it becomes impossible to say you were born into a cruel world and can only experience pain. Listen to the sentence, 'cruel world', external. As a child you liked things, move from the cruelness of the external world and focus on your true enjoyment preferences. For you to 'hate' things, you have to understand 'hate', to understand 'hate' you have to know 'love'.
Okay then, so think of your natural intuition, your natural preferences, your natural likes and dislikes.. that is your purpose. Follow those. It was given to you at birth, detach from logical thinking, thinking in general, detach from the ego and do what's inside of you. This wisdom is spoken all around us. "Follow your Heart". If you think, "okay well I love to paint, but painting will never make me any money" and you don't do it, but you do do something that brings in a ton of cash, you won't find happiness. The logic, if you will, is in your sentence. "I love to paint, but painting will never make me money". The sentence does not read "I love money". We all know, as common sense, you find happiness within love. If you truly love to paint, and you are painting, you will be happy. Its mathematical. If x(love)=z(happiness), and y(painting)=x(love) then y=z.
The struggle is detaching from thinking, or ego, if you want to speak of it in specific psychological terms. If you start maneuvering through life following your birth given intuition, and follow your purpose, or path, you will be so self focused that the mass consciousness that determines what wealth is, example: money, will begin to not seem so important anymore.
Thinking that money, for an example, which is not given to us naturally, is what determines success has been identified through logical processes.
I've outlined that everything that we need to survive is given to us at birth, then how is it that success is an achievement, or an endpoint? Now that is what's not 'logical'.
Purpose is not end point. Its every day. It's living NOW, because the past is dead, its gone, and its only viewed through perception just as the future, its only a thought, which is created in perception, meaning that both are made up, both are fiction.
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